REAL WORLD: Oakland

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*suspenseful theme music*

In the next part, we get to meet the new roommate! Gasp! Anyway, I'm going out of town on Tuesday, so I'm going to update as much as I can and try not to make the last part I write too suspenseful before I go out of town for a week. But while I'm gone, I'll write lots of parts while I'm gone, then I'll type them up and post them. Yay!

[Kill]

AWESOME! Haha, Billie's emo look. That's great. Sigh...What did I pose like? I'm ever so curious! Actually don't tell me, when everyone receives their pictures then you can describe them. I LOVE THIS STORY! It's hilarious, dramatic, romantic, mysterious, everything you would ask for. Just add a bit more funny to the seriousness, then everything will be great! XD

[suicideXmakeover]

Wow...thanks. I love when people rave about my stories.

[suicideXmakeover]

Part 9
“We’re going to scare the new person,” Tre said the next morning as I sat in the kitchen.
“Why?” I asked, laughing. “And who is ‘we’?”
“Morgan and yours truly,” he said, placing a hand on his chest. “I already told Mike and Billie about it. They’re going to play along. Will you?”
“Depends,” I sighed. “What do I have to do?”
“Pretend you’re crazy.”
“Pretend?” I snorted. He smiled at me.
Just then the doorbell rang. “OH MY GOD!” Morgan screamed. “They’re here!!” She rushed through the kitchen and motioned for Tre to follow her. He ran next to her, up to the door.
I couldn’t really hear the entire conversation, but it sounded like Morgan believed she could speak in tongues, and Tre was very impressed. He then promised the new housemate that we had some very good shock therapy sessions here at the house. It was then that a girl screamed, “Finally, people weirder than me!”
“What are they doing out there?” Karla asked, stepping into the kitchen and digging through the fridge.
“Trying to scare our new roommate,” I sighed. They then led aforementioned roommate into the kitchen. She was about my height, with really, really, really long hair.
“Hi,” she said. “I’m Jade.”
“Dori,” I said, waving at her.
“Karla,” came the voice from the fridge.
“I’m Tre, and this is Morgan.”
“Nice to meet you all. But aren’t there supposed to be seven housemates?” Jade asked, counting us all slowly.
“Billie and Mike are off somewhere,” I said. “But don’t worry about them. They’re not interesting anyway.”
“Yes they are!” Morgan proclaimed.
“I have an idea,” Karla said. “Now that we have four girls, why don’t we all get the fancy room with the bunk beds and the guys can sleep in the other room.”
“Then I won’t get to room with Dori!” Tre exclaimed, walking over to me and placing his hands on my shoulders.
“Exactly,” Morgan sighed. “This way, there will be no one trying to get freaky in the same room I’m sleeping in.”
I laughed, feeling myself blushing. I had only known Tre a matter of days and already people were implying things. “Let’s run this by the guys,” Morgan said, heading off in search of them
“Let’s fill Jade here in on the happenings of this house,” Karla said, walking over to the table. “Dori and Tre are together, obviously, so don’t hit on him. We don’t want that kind of drama.”
“Okay,” Jade said, nodding.
“There’s something going on between Morgan and Billie, too, but we’re not exactly sure what goes on there, so I wouldn’t recommend messing with Billie. There’s nothing going on between me and Mike…yet,” she sighed.
“Yet being the key word,” I said.
“That’s okay,” Jade said. “I mean, I’m not here to find the perfect guy. That would just make for more drama.” She seemed to understand the reality TV concept pretty well.
“We have a job down at Amplified Clothing,” I said. “We modeled today. I guess you’ll do your modeling thing tomorrow.”
“I have to model?” she groaned and I laughed.
“Yup. Sorry.”
She sighed and sat at the table. “So, are you guys really that crazy?”
“Well, we don’t have shock therapy treatment, if that’s what you mean,” Tre said.
Morgan returned to the kitchen with Billie and Mike. “So we have to move?” Mike asked.
“Yeah,” Jade said. “Who are you?”
“Mike. And this is Billie,” Karla said, introducing the two. “Let’s go move all our stuff.”

MELISSA’S POINT OF VIEW
“They’re getting along pretty well,” I observed. “Now that HJ’s gone, it doesn’t look like there will be as much drama as planned. I think these people all have too much in common. We should’ve looked harder.”
“It’s too late now,” said Frank, my co-worker. “We’re stuck with these people.”
“Damn,” I whispered. “We have to get something interesting to happen.”
“Well, they’re funny.”
“This show isn’t fucking about humor. It’s about drama! Where have you been?”
“Maybe we could, you know, make it different.”
“No,” I said. “We’re going to just make everything dramatic.”

REGULAR POINT OF VIEW
“These are great,” I said, looking at the shots of me. I had never seen such great pictures of myself. My favorite picture was one where my hair was tied up into a rather spikey ponytail atop my head. I wore a black tank top with a cutoff lime green tee over it. I wore a black skirt and some torn green panty hose, along with the coolest pair of boots.
“That’s hot,” Tre said, hovering over my shoulder.
“Let me see yours!” Morgan yelled, snatching Tre’s out of his hand. “I think this was your best shot, Tre,” she said, holding up a photo. In the picture, Tre was wearing ripped, paint covered jeans. His shirt was kind of tight and clung to his body, so it made him looked quite ripped.
“Wow,” Karla said, blinking at it. She wasn’t even romantically interested in Tre, and she was still amazed.
“Let me have that,” Tre snapped, pretending to be mad as he pulled the picture from Morgan’s grasp. She laughed.
“Let’s see yours,” I said, looking over her shoulder. The first picture of hers that I saw was really pretty. It was probably the best out of all of them. Her hair fell along her shoulders, her eyes gleaming in the light. She wore a purple off-the-shoulder top and a black skirt, with some cute boots. The way her head was tilted and everything made me suddenly jealous of her photogenic-ness.
“I like mine,” Billie said, holding up his picture to reveal a very emo shot of himself. I laughed along with everyone else. Mike was hiding his picture.
“Let me see it,” Karla said, walking over to him.
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Come on,” Karla begged.
“Fine,” Mike finally sighed. The picture was of his back, his head turned to the side. He looked very pissed off and his fist was raised as if in anger. It was when he was yelling at me. I was hysterical, falling back onto Tre because I was laughing so hard. Jade was off having her pictures taken, much to her dismay, since she obviously hated cameras.

[Kill]

Awesome. Oh my god. We have to have a picture swap or something, lol.

[suicideXmakeover]

Part 10
“Who left this in here?”
It was later that evening. Morgan, Karla, Jade and I were hanging out in our new room (although it wasn’t so new for Karla), and Morgan was inspecting the place. She was going through the closet and had just discovered something.
She pulled out a guitar and examined it. It was a pretty nice guitar. “Let me see it,” I begged.
“No,” she sighed. “I get to play it first.” She sat on her bed and began to strum, tuning it a bit, and then playing some song I had never heard before.
“I didn’t know you played the guitar,” Karla said.
“Well, I do,” Morgan sighed, continuing to play. “Can I see it when you’re done?”
“No,” said Billie, who was standing in the doorway. “Because it’s mine. I left it in here. Sorry.” He walked over to Morgan and grabbed the guitar from her.
“I wanted to play it,” she whined.
“Too bad,” said Billie as he walked out of the room.
“Is he always that mean?” asked Jade.
“No,” Karla said. “Something’s weird with him.”
“Morgan!” Melissa strode into the room. “I see you girls all moved your stuff in quite well. But Morgan, I was wondering if I could talk to you. Just for a second.”
“Sure,” Morgan said, leaving the room with Melissa.
“I wonder what they want to talk about,” Karla wondered. I just shrugged.

MELISSA’S POINT OF VIEW
I opened the “Staff Only” door and guided Morgan inside. She examined all the screens on the wall and looked kind of frightened that there was a screen for every room in the house, even the bathroom.
“Wow,” she whispered. “So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
“You know that although this show is called the Real World, it’s not really based on the real world, right?”
“Duh,” she said.
“Well, people wouldn’t watch it if it was as boring as every day life, right?” I asked.
“Yeah…”
“So in order to get the audience to watch this, I need for you to help make this more dramatic.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want for you to do me a big favor. I want for you and Dori to become enemies.”
“WHAT?” she yelled.
“I want for you to get jealous of Dori and Tre,” I said.
“But I’m not. I have Billie,” she said, staring at me with a look of shock on her face.
“Look, we can replace you on this show just like we did with HJ!” I yelled, then realized what I had just said.
“Wait, you replaced HJ?” She stared at me.
“Yes,” I sighed. “We wanted for him to take part in something, but he wouldn’t do it. So we removed him in the most realistic way possible. The guy that he was making out with at the club is a paid actor. Just like the guy that called and told you he got arrested, and his sister. None of them are of any relation to HJ. They were all paid to make you think that. We can do the same thing to you, if you don’t cooperate.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “What do you want me to do?”
I smiled. Everything was going according to plan.

REGULAR POINT OF VIEW
“What was that all about?” I asked as Morgan entered the room.
“Nothing,” she said, shrugging.
“Well, we were talking about what we plan to do after we get out of this house,” Jade said.
“Already? Man, I never want to leave here,” Morgan commented.
“Dori thinks that Tre, Mike and Billie should form a band. I think it would be awesome, but Jade here thinks it would never work,” Karla sighed.
“Come on, though,” Jade groaned. “Be realistic. What are the odds that three guys as weird as them could become a successful punk band?”
“Hey, Morgan,” Billie said, appearing in the doorway. “Come here.”
“Sure are popular tonight,” Jade commented.
Morgan laughed.

MORGAN’S POINT OF VIEW
A nervous feeling filled my stomach as I followed Billie to his room. I knew what I had to do. Melissa had already told me. It was practically scripted out. He pointed to Tre’s bed. “Sit,” he said. I did.
“Billie,” I sighed.
“Wait,” he said. “I wrote this for you.”
He grabbed the guitar off the floor and began singing. His voice flooded the room. The words were so pretty. “Speechless and redundant, cause I love you’s not enough. At a loss for words.” I sat there, dreading the moment I knew would come if I wanted to stay in the house.
“What do you think?” he asked as he finished.
“Billie, I don’t like you.”
“What?” he asked, staring at me.
“I like Tre, not you.” I then jumped up. I couldn’t stand to look at Billie anymore. It hurt too much. I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in a stall, sitting on the can and sobbing my heart out.

[Kill]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Aw... I HATE MELISSA. Grrr...

[suicideXmakeover]

Yeah, she's ruining your life.

[suicideXmakeover]

Part 11
BILLIE’S POINT OF VIEW
I sat there on my bed, guitar in my arms, staring at the space where Morgan had been sitting just seconds before. What just happened?
“Did Morgan just run by?” Mike asked, entering the room.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“What happened?”
“I sang to her, and she doesn’t like me,” I whispered. “I wrote a fucking song for her, and she likes Tre instead.”
“She likes Tre?” Mike asked, practically choking on his own spit. “Why does everyone like him? He’s not that special.”
I laughed, trying to put on a good face. “At least the girl you like doesn’t like him,” I commented.
“I don’t know that. Besides, I don’t even know if I like Karla. I mean, she’s cool and all, but I hardly know her.”
“I’m going to go talk to Morgan,” I said, getting up and carrying my guitar with me. “Morgan?” I called down the hallway.
“Go away,” she squeaked from the bathroom.
“Morgan?” I repeated, walking toward the stall from which her voice came.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she whispered. I looked at the floor for a second before sitting down. “Please, Billie. Don’t do this.”
“I’m not doing anything. I’m just sitting,” I said, strumming my guitar lightly. “And I will be until you come out.”
“But I can’t,” she gasped.
“Why not?”
“You wouldn’t understand,” she said.
“Try me.”
“I can’t,” she said again.
“Why can’t you? Come on, Morgan, just tell it what’s bothering you so much? I don’t mind that you don’t like me. Really, it’s not the first time it’s happened. But if we’re going to live together for the next five months, you’re going to have to face me eventually.”
“You have a point,” she said, still crying.
“So tell me.”
“You don’t understand. I can’t tell you. And I can’t tell you why I can’t tell you.”
“That makes no sense,” I sighed.
“You’re telling me,” she said, opening the door. “I decided to come out.”
“I see that,” I said, standing up. “So, friends again?”

MORGAN’S POINT OF VIEW
“Friends,” I agreed, shaking Billie’s hand. I could practically hear Melissa screaming at me, but I decided to ignore it. After all, I hadn’t even begun with the Dori drama. Making Dori hate me would be as hard to do as telling Billie I didn’t love him.
“What just happened?” asked Jade, who was leaning out the bedroom door.
“Nothing,” I said, tossing my hair and walking toward the stairs. “I’m going to eat. Anyone care to join me?”
“Food,” Tre said. It was if he had appeared out of nowhere. Why did Tre have to show up? The sooner I saw Tre, the sooner it meant I had to do what Melissa told me to do. And I didn’t want that.
We headed down the stairs and I found a frozen pizza in the freezer. “Pepperoni sound good?” I asked, holding the pizza up.
“Sure,” Tre said, sitting at the kitchen table. I removed it from the box, read the instructions and began to preheat the oven. I sat at the kitchen table with Tre and he started talking about something. I watched him, planning the next move I would make.
It was like Melissa was the voice in the back of my head, telling me what to do. I tried to resist, but in the end, I caved. Tre was mid-sentence, talking about drums, when I reached over and grabbed him, pulling him towards me and pressing my lips against his.
Dori’s going to hate me, I thought. Tre struggled, trying to push me away, but I held on with all the strength that was in me. Finally he pulled away and stared at me. “Forget the pizza,” he said, getting up and rushing towards the stairs. Just like Melissa had planned, he was going to tell Dori. And there was nothing I could do about it now.

[Kill]

BURN IN HELL MELISSA!!!!!! GRRRR!!!

[suicideXmakeover]

Part 12
REGULAR POINT OF VIEW
“Dori, could I talk to you for a second?” Tre asked, leaning in the doorway.
“Sure,” I sighed, shrugging at Karla and Jade, who just continued their conversation. They really seemed to be hitting it off pretty well. “What’s up?” I asked, walking into the hallway with him.
“Morgan,” he said.
“What about her?”
“She kissed me.”
“WHAT?” I couldn’t believe this. Morgan was practically my best friend. But Tre was my boyfriend. Should I believe him?
“She kissed me,” he said again.
“I heard you the first time,” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. What was I going to do? “Really?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t lie about this,” Tre said.
I took a deep breath and headed down the stairs. “Where are you going?” Tre asked.
“To talk to Morgan,” I said. I stepped into the kitchen and sure enough, there she was, sitting at the table and staring off into space. “Did you kiss him?” I asked.
“Huh?” She snapped out of her trance and looked at me, her eyes suddenly widening.

MORGAN’S POINT OF VIEW
Oh God. Here it comes.
“Did you kiss Tre?” Dori asked again, giving me the strangest look. I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell her that none of that had happened. But that would be a lie. Then again, all of this was a lie.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Oh my God,” she sighed. “Why?”
“I like him,” I said.
“That doesn’t give you the right to kiss him,” she groaned, leaning against the counter. “God, what were you thinking?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Do you hate me?”
“No,” she said.
“You don’t?” Damn, I thought. She should’ve said yes. Then Melissa would be satisfied and I wouldn’t have to do more to make Dori hate me.
“No,” she repeated. “I’m extremely pissed off, and I don’t really have much to say to you, but I don’t hate you.”
“Oh.”
“Are you sorry?” she asked.
Shit. What was I supposed to say? If I said yes, she might forgive me, then Melissa would be mad. But Melissa had never said anything about what to say in this situation, so I told the truth. “More than you could ever know.”
Dori just nodded, then left the kitchen. I sat there, all alone for about ten minutes when Karla walked in. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“That’s bull. Seriously, what happened? Dori seems pissed off, but she won’t tell us why.” Karla stared at me until finally I told her.
“I kissed Tre.”
“Oh my God. Why?”
“Because I like him, duh,” I grunted.
“What happened to Billie? Didn’t you like him?”
“Yeah, but I just like Tre more.”
“Tre’s taken. You should’ve gone for Billie. He really likes you,” she said, sitting next to me.
“No kidding,” I sighed. “This is all too confusing. I just want to go to bed.”
“Dori’s upstairs. Maybe sleeping in there isn’t the best idea.”
“Right,” I said. “I’ll sleep on the couch in the phone room.”

REGULAR POINT OF VIEW
I couldn’t believe it. She had kissed my boyfriend. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to blow up at her and rip out her hair. I wanted to tell her that Tre was mine and she couldn’t so much as fucking look at him. But I didn’t. Instead, I had more or less told her that I would forgive her. At least, I thought that was what I had said. I didn’t remember.
Jade sat on the bunk beneath me, practically begging me to tell her what was wrong, but I wouldn’t say. I didn’t want her to think that Morgan was a whore or anything. The less people that knew, the easier it would be to deal with. But then again, this was going to be all over TV. They’d find out eventually.
“I’m going to sleep,” I announced, pulling the sheets over myself and closing my eyes. Hopefully in dream land I could escape all of this backstabbing bullshit.

[suicideXmakeover]

Part 13
“Dori?”
I opened one eye and saw Tre staring at me. “What?” I whispered, rolling over.
“Come here. We’re going for a walk.”
“A walk?”
“Shhhh,” he hushed. “Just come with me. And don’t say a word.”
I arched an eyebrow at him but said nothing, silently slipping out of my bed and trying not to wake Jade as I climbed to the floor. I followed him silently as we walked down the hallway, down the stairs, and through the front door.
“Tre,” I whispered once we were outside, but he pressed a finger to his lips. He grabbed my wrist and led me down the driveway. He started running, dragging me along with him. I followed, wondering where the hell we were going, but I said nothing.
“Here we are,” he finally announced. We were in some obscure forest, with no microphones or cameras in sight. We could only hope that there weren’t any hidden anywhere. I heard a rustling in the trees.
“Oh shit,” I whispered, expecting for someone who either wanted to film or rape me. But it wasn’t either of the two (at least I hope not). It was Morgan.

MELISSA’S POINT OF VIEW
“Melissa!”
I had been sleeping soundly in my chair in the back of the room when some staff member named Jeremy violently shook me awake.
“What?” I snapped, sitting up.
“They’re gone.”
“Who’s gone?”
“Dori, Tre, and Morgan.”
“Where’d they go?”
“I have no idea,” he said.
“Weren’t up supposed to be watching the screens? Isn’t your job to watch them while everyone else sleeps and make sure they don’t go anywhere?” I asked, trying not to yell.
“Yes,” he said, looking frightened.
“Well,” I said, you better fucking find them, or your ass is so fired.”
He nodded, scanning all the screens. He rewound several tapes until he found what he was looking for. First there was Morgan, walking in the direction of some backwoods a little ways from the house. Later, Tre and Dori headed in the same direction.
“Go get them,” I said. “I swear, if Morgan opens her fucking mouth, she’s gone.”

REGULAR POINT OF VIEW
“What is she doing here?” I asked, blinking at Morgan.
“I wrote Tre a note telling him to meet me here with you. And I have something to say,” she sighed.
“If you’re going to apologize, I already know how sorry you are,” I said, emotions burning inside of me.
“That’s not it. But just listen and don’t interrupt. We probably don’t have much time before they find us here.”
“Then hurry,” Tre said.
“Melissa asked me to do all of that to cause some drama in the house so people would watch. I really do like Billie, not Tre.”
“Why didn’t you say no?” I asked.
Morgan sighed. “She asked HJ to start some drama, and he said no. He wasn’t really a drug dealer. They just removed him from the show because he said no. And I don’t want that to happen to me. But now that I’ve told you this, they probably will remove me, but at least you won’t hate me as much.”
“Oh God,” I whispered. The strange thing was that I didn’t even debate whether or not she was lying. It all made sense. I had kind of been expecting this from the beginning. I couldn’t believe all of this was beginning so early in the game.
“They’re going to find us,” Tre said.
“You guys,” Morgan said. “Get on the ground and start having sex.”
“What?” I asked, blinking at her.
“Act like you’re going to have sex. That way, when they find you, you can act like you just wanted privacy so you could get it on. I’ll hide in a separate part of the woods and cry, so when they find me I can act like I was just sad and didn’t even know you were here. If you want me to stay, you have to go along with this. Act like you hate me. Please.”
“Okay,” I said. That was the strangest thing anyone had asked me to do, but it didn’t seem that strange as I stood there. Morgan waved and walked off. I looked at Tre and he shrugged. The two of us lay on the grass, me on top of him. We started kissing, his hand wandering up the back of my shirt. For a couple of seconds I forgot that we were just doing this to throw off a camera crew.
They arrived a few seconds later, very anxious to film me and Tre almost having sex. I tried my hardest to not laugh as I told them why we were there. Some other cameras headed off in search of Morgan. This was all so fake. I could hardly believe it.

[Kill]

Wow. "You guys,” Morgan said. “Get on the ground and start having sex.” I'm so great. Haha.

[suicideXmakeover]

Part 14
Tre and I returned to the house. “You know,” he said. “I’m kind of disappointed that they interrupted us.”
I looked at him and laughed. “Is that your subtle way of asking me to screw you?”
“Maybe,” he said, staring innocently up at the ceiling. I laughed and playfully shoved him. “I’m going back to bed. Good night.” I kissed him and he waved as I walked up the stairs. He, apparently, was going to linger in the kitchen for a while.
I opened the bedroom door and was surprised to see the lights on, with Jade and Karla awake.
“What happened?” Karla asked. “Where did you go?”
“To the woods,” I said slowly.
“Why?” Jade asked.
“So Tre and I could be alone,” I sighed.
“Did you guys, you know?” Karla asked eagerly, jumping up and walking over to me.
“Have sex? Nah, the cameras found us.”
“And where’s Morgan?” asked Jade.
“Ew, you guys weren’t having a threesome, were you?”
I grabbed my sides and laughed. “No!” I said, gasping for air between my laughs.
“Could you guys shut up?” Billie asked, poking his head in the room. “Some people are trying to sleep.”
“Sorry,” I apologized. He rolled his eyes and looked around.
“Where’s Morgan?” he asked.
We shrugged. “Haven’t seen her,” Karla said.
“That’s weird,” Billie muttered, then headed into his room. He was trying way too hard to act like he didn’t care about her. I wanted to tell him that she did love him, and that she didn’t really like Tre. But I couldn’t. Morgan could get kicked off the show for that.

TRE’S POINT OF VIEW
Morgan came in about twenty minutes after Dori and I showed up back at the house, a small cluster of equipment people following her.
“Where were you?” I asked, as if I didn’t know.
“The woods,” she mumbled.
“Really? Me too,” I said.
“I wonder why I didn’t see you,” she said, staring at the cameras with an aggravated look. I just shrugged at her. “Do you hate me for what happened earlier?”
“You mean you kissing me?” I asked, and suddenly the idea hit me. “Actually, I’m kind of glad that you did that. I like you too.”
She looked up at me. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I said, walking over to where she stood. “I don’t really like Dori. It was kind of a drunken love thing, and I would’ve felt bad if I hadn’t done this relationship thing. But don’t worry, it won’t last long. When she and I break up, maybe you and I…”
She suddenly seemed to catch on. “I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, you’re going out with Dori.”
“That didn’t seem to matter when you kissed me.”

MELISSA’S POINT OF VIEW
This was too perfect. I couldn’t have scripted it better myself. I had only planned on Dori hating Morgan. I had never expected for Tre to like her back. The only way this could get any better was if Mike announced that he and Billie were secretly gay lovers. I watched on the screen, as Tre and Morgan debated whether or not they would date once Dori and Tre broke up. This would be quite a season of the Real World, I could tell.
“This is amazing,” I whispered. “It’s all falling into play for me.”
“Yeah,” Jeremy agreed. “This is going to be great.”

BILLIE’S POINT OF VIEW
“What the fuck?” I whispered to myself. I stood at the top of the stairs, listening to the entire conversation between Morgan and Tre. Should I tell Dori? Would she believe me? For some reason, I got the feeling that Dori didn’t like me too much, and it was my word against Tre’s. And of course, he would deny it and Dori would believe him, thinking I was just trying to ruin her allegedly perfect relationship. “This sucks ass,” I sighed, walking back to bed. It didn’t matter if I heard the rest of the conversation or not. No one would believe me.

[suicideXmakeover]

Part 15
KARLA’S POINT OF VIEW
I walked towards the bathroom the next morning to brush my teeth when I heard someone singing. I stood at the sink for a minute before identifying that the voice belonged to Mike, and he was indeed singing “Spice Up Your Life” by the Spice Girls.
I cleared my throat and attempted to make my voice all deep as I said, “Excuse me. I work for the humane society and I received a report of the sounds of an animal being abused coming from this bathroom.”
“Shut up,” Mike laughed, looking over the stall door at me. “Hey, could you hand me those boxers?” He pointed to a pair of boxers on the floor.
“These boxers?” I asked, lifted them off the floor. “The ones with the pink fishes on them?”
“Yes,” he sighed, annoyed by my taunting.
“You’re going to have to get them first.” I sprinted off, waving the boxers above my head.
“Damn it,” Mike laughed, hurrying to get the towel wrapped around his waist. He came out of the shower, running behind me as fast as he could. I headed down the stairs, still waving the boxers above my head. I dashed into the kitchen. Morgan stood at the stove, watching a large cloud of smoke forming above the waffles she was attempting to make.
“What the hell?” she asked. “How do you burn waffles?”
“If they’re burnt, you should probably take them off the stove,” Jade suggested.
“Probably,” Morgan sighed. “Wait, Karla? Are you waving around boxers with…fish on them?”
“Yup,” I nodded, rushing into the living room. Mike sprinted in after me, jumping forward to tackle me. As he did, he forced me into the table with the bowl of condoms on it, sending them flying into the air. The bowl crashed on the floor in the kitchen, the condoms flying about the kitchen and landing on people.
“It’s raining child prevention!” Tre screamed.
I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too distracted by the fact that Mike was laying on top of me…and it didn’t seem like he was planning on moving. I stared into his blue eyes for a few minutes. “Um, Mike?”
“Karla and Mikey, sitting in a tree,” chanted Jade from the kitchen. Dori and Tre joined in, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
Morgan broke into a solo of, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. That’s not all, that’s not all, here comes Mikey drinking alcohol.”
I wasn’t really listening anymore. I was too busy making out with Mike.

JADE’S POINT OF VIEW
“If you want, I can make the waffles,” I said to Morgan, eying the cloud of smoke that continued to grow bigger.
“Oh, crap!” she said, noticing the waffles. She lifted the pan off the stove and dumped the smoldering waffle into the trash. “Who wants cold cereal for breakfast?”
“We’re all out,” I said.
“Damn. What do we have to eat around here?” She wandered over to the cabinet and found an economy sized back of Pixie Sticks.
“Breakfast of champions,” Tre said, spotting the bag. “Can I have some?”
“No. They’re all mine,” Morgan snapped, pulling the bag to her chest.
“Not fair,” Tre complained. I looked over at Dori, who didn’t seem as annoyed about Tre even talking to Morgan as I thought she would be. In fact, she was smiling a little. Maybe I had missed something.
“Give me the Pixie Sticks.”
“Never!”
“Come on!”
“No!”
“Just one?”
“Fine,” Morgan sighed, opening the bag and handing him one. I knew right away that giving Tre products that were 100% sugar was a bad idea.